We Can Do This Together

Being a mother is more than a responsibility.  It is a lifelong loving gift and privilege that God has given to us.  It is the ability to be there for a child through the best of the best of times (when there are trophies, and graduations, new babies being born, triumphs that are overcome and beautiful memories that are made), and it is also being there in the midst of the chaos and the uncertainty (when times are scary, and worrisome threats are all around).  It is being there when the child falls and you help them up, and also being there when those bumps and bruises are beyond the parents control, and believing and praying, and encouraging is needed.  This privilege that God has entrusted to us as mothers, goes beyond all that is seen with the human eye, it is filled with determination, and love, and faith that is not tangible but is instead filled within the spirit.

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And to my children, I will forever be a part of all of those times of joy and trial.  I will be here to lift you and help you whenever you have fears or doubts.  Call on me when you need a friend.  I will be your best friend.  I will fight the battles with you, and stand by your side.  YOU are my priority.  YOU are my love.  YOU are a part of my heart that I will guard with all that I am.  We, together, can make it through anything.  I promise that I will always do everything in my ability to make things better, and safer, and more hopeful.  Never be afraid to lean on me.  For in the end of the trial will be a beautiful rainbow and promise of a brand new day with sunshine. Just hold onto my hand.  Mom will always be beside you.

Lifting the Burden

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Verse of the Week

Proverbs

3:21-24

My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.  Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down your sleep will be sweet.

 

Lifting the Burden

At times the load seems so very heavy.  It’s hard to move forward and to keep a smile.  It is in those times that I especially look toward my faith, my family, and my friends.  Just realizing that I am not alone and that help surrounds me is comforting.  For me, sometimes just picking up the phone and saying that I’m having a hard time is so hard for me to do.  I don’t want to seem like a continual burden to my circle that I so heavily rely upon.  Yet to realize that these people are there because they love and care for me is necessary.  Roles reversed, yes, I would be always be there for them.  And when I feel so alone, just talking to God can release so much tension from within, and talking to loved ones that are missed (my angels), gives me peace.  We are never alone.  We are heard.  We are loved.  Reaching out is essential.  One step at a time.  The days will flow together and time will move on.  Lessons and strength will be learned and gained.  The load will eventually be lifted.

 

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.

Mother Teresa

 

© Can Stock Photo / Ajlber

Expect the Best Outcome

Bright rainbow

The results you expect will become reality.  Seek the answers with a believing heart and live with hope along the way.  Don’t be afraid to quiver at times, then lift your head up high and walk in determination once again.  It’s part of the journey.  The plan was already set out before you.  The road will never be harder than you can bear.  This is a promise that has been given to us.  And when the road gets hard, we are lifted and carried.  So keep on the path because there is a vibrant and bright rainbow up ahead.

My Father’s Watching Eyes

Last night I had a dream about loved ones who have made their way to heaven.  I recall my mother in the dream, also my uncle, and finally I recall my dad.  When I saw him, I recall the term “brain-dead” being used.  But the odd thing was that although my dad had no significant brain activity in the dream, the beauty was that I could see his eyes.  They were wide open and were able to watch what was going on, though they did not move in any direction.  At times it felt almost playful in the sense that he would close his eyes not to be seen looking.  But then when I would look again his eyes were wide open and  I had the awareness that he knew everything that was going on.

Knowing that my dad is my guardian angel is a comforting thought for me.

my fathers eyes

The added peaceful reassurance is knowing that I also have the watchful eyes of our Heavenly Father.  It is with the knowledge that through our God; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit that I am able to walk in absolute certainty that I am loved, and cared for, and worthy.  And that I have the guidance I need, not because I am perfect, but because I am his child and will be cared for and given God’s grace through Jesus Christ.  It is a wonderful security knowing that, though I fall short often, my Father’s watching eyes are always nearby and guiding me.  And the instruction book that I need to guide me in his love is at my disposal all the times with the Bible.  This is just like any loving Father to give to his children the key to happiness and security in this world around us – to protect us and give a soothing hand that is needed during times of trouble.

 

© Can Stock Photo / Hriana

Being Healthy to our Bodies

 

healthy

I was walking in the beautiful sunshine yesterday, with a slight breeze, enjoying my time outside with Daisy (my faithful companion Labrador), and was soul-searching into my life and how it has been wonderfully pleasant.  I live in a beautiful home, in an area that is desirable, with my husband who truly loves me for who I am.  My thoughts went to how fortunate I am that I can be walking and in good health.  I have my minor aches and pains that I’m working through and thankfully are dissipating.  The feeling of complete gratitude for all of my blessings filled my being.

I thought back to a time when the thought of perfection and beauty were just the physical aspects of a person, and how I strived to be that perfect “beautiful” being.  This was quite an unsure time in my life and I believed that in order to control how I felt about myself, striving for that “perfect” image of beauty was something that I could have some control over.  And how I started with my eating disorder has gone from my memory.  I just remember that I could maintain a weight that was acceptable, and still enjoy all of the things that I liked.

My life was in chaos at that time, even though I was a Christian and trying to raise three small children.  This was about the same time in which I developed my first episode that required hospitalization due to what I now know was Bipolar.  My thoughts were all mixed up and to top it off I was bulimic, and then fasting for days.  This was quite a frantic time inwardly for me, while trying to maintain an outward calm presence.  And along with my eating disorder, I had personal marriage and family problems that were crashing down.

Along my walk, I realized that my health and well-being are so precious and need to be guarded and cared for.  Years ago, during that time of turmoil, I didn’t see the gift of this life that I have been given, and the body that has been entrusted to me.  I had been careless and oblivious to caring for my body.  And for this I asked for God to forgive me.  The idea that I alone had not taken care of my gift of life had become so apparent.  I asked God to help me in being committed to caring for and being healthy to my body.  Now is the time to take good care of my mind, body, and soul – and to live happily with the knowledge that I have guidance from above.

 

© Can Stock Photo / AnsonLu

End Of Life Grace

End of Life Grace

The firefighters put her on the backboard and strapped her down.  Her ability to be able to walk was gone, and it was imperative that she be able to go downstairs into the living room area and spend time with family and friends.  She needed to continue to socialize and be her happy, spirited self.  So her hospital bed was moved from the bedroom to the downstairs living area, and the firefighters began carrying her down the stairs.  And instead of being scared or fearful in any way, she was giddy (though filled with physical pain) and joking with the helpers about how handsome and cute they were.  She was chuckling and thankful to her rescuers that had started to get to know her from previous calls to the home.  The true love of God was so present throughout her whole being in those last weeks of her life.  There was a grace that could be felt in the way she lived.  It was an honor to be associated and to be the daughter of a woman with such strength and dignity of character.

 

 

© Can Stock Photo / SergeyNivens

Lean Not On Your Own Understanding

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Understanding and really getting what the verses of the Bible teach us is so difficult at times.  I thank God for all of the teachers of the Bible – the scholars that decipher and try to make sense of all of the workings of God.  It is quite the job and my admiration is with them.  For me just to truly understand my Life Verse was a hard lesson to grasp.

 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

 

What a beautiful and straightforward message, right?  Follow the teachings of God.  Lean on him for all that you need.  Acknowledge that he is your God.

The tricky part for me was “lean not on your own understanding”.  Whew…  What a hard part of that scripture for me to understand.  Yes, it took me quite some time to say, “Lord, I get what you are saying”.

Following the teachings of God and to be good, loving, full of grace, caring, understanding that God is fighting my battles and will love me no matter what – though hard to do, I could understand that.  These teachings are broken down for me.  The teachers and pastors of the Word can help me to understand what it is saying.  The hard part (lean not on your own understanding).  Why did I have such a hard time with that part of the scripture?

It was back in the eighties.  I became a born again Christian.  My life seemed put together for a twenty year old with three small children.  I had been married for four years by then.  But inwardly (and in my own household) I was crumbling under the stress of my marriage, and the opposite levels of patience in our methods of caring for our children.

It was taught to me that I must be submissive to my husband.  However, the remaining lesson to understand is also that a husband must love his wife as Christ loved the church.  That part was left out somehow, or did I not hear it?  Anyway, being submissive to anger is a brutal job which had me imploding.  If I could have been a firecracker, I would have exploded in the palm of a closed hand.  My emotions were bottled so thoroughly that praying without ceasing was the norm to get through each assault to my crushed spirit.

Due to my family disposition of having bipolar and the never-ending daily stresses, the trigger had been released and I began having delusions in which I believed that I could read what God was telling me to do.  I followed the indications on the street signs and I could tell which way I needed to go.  One verse from the bible would interpret what I needed to do that day, my mind would guide me through the verses for answers and guidance, songs that came on the radio would either be of the Lord or be brought forth by evil spirits, among many other “signs” (such as color, water – being pure, etc…) were all areas of my own need for answers and guidance.  I was at the point of counting syllables of my sentences on each finger so that I did not end my sentence with the wrong number.  I even got to the point where I was unable to speak due to fear.

I learned the hard way of what it means to “lean not on your own understanding”.  My mind was trying to make sense of what path I should take, when in actuality all I needed to do was trust in God, acknowledge him, and he would show me the way.  Yes, I prayed for help and guidance.  But I was searching for all of the answers.  I truly believed that I saw God’s plan.  Thankfully I am not the all-knowing – God is!

So now what I do is exactly what my Life Verse says.  I TRUST in the Lord with all of my heart and lean NOT on my own understanding (I have Faith in what I can’t see);

I will forever ACKNOWLEDGE him (God as my provider, my healer, my everything – true LOVE and guidance), and he will make my paths straight.  (He will SHOW ME THE WAY).

This was a lesson well learned!

 

© Can Stock Photo / focalpoint

Saying Good-Bye for Peace and Happiness

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Being deceived or taken advantage of by a friend that is trusted and loved is hard to forget or forgive, especially when that event caused life-long trauma.  And to make matters worse, when that friend refuses to admit to the deception and just overlooks the occasion altogether, the hurt is magnified.  The best revenge is that there can be happiness and joy along with peace despite the hurt.

First of all,  I have decided that if she cannot admit to her faults and essentially has lied to me for years, I do not need that type of influence or standard of behavior/principles in my life.  It’s time for me to surround myself with people who value me and my feelings.  I no longer need fake ideals and people in my life.  Life becomes much less dramatic and peace evolves when the chaos is quieted.

I have always been told and read that we should treat people the way we want to be treated.  Having compassion and empathy is one of the major components involved in this statement.  Without compassion and caring for another person and seeing their hurt, I would find it hard to live honestly and at face value.  I don’t want kind words and flattery.  That does not impress me or make me like you anymore, or cover the hurt of devastating actions.  It is honesty and compassion that impresses me.

I know that God works in ways that are beyond what I will ever understand.  I have faith that whatever unfolds in life is part of God’s plan – whether it is good or bad.  It is how we respond to our circumstances and how we treat people that matters.  I praise God for His plan and pray that He continues to help me to walk in such a way that pleases Him.  I want His Holy Spirit and His words to guide me.  And I pray that I am never fake or try to impress people.  He has given me the quality of honesty.  This is not to say that I have never told a lie.  But believe me, I have the hardest time lying and I am VERY bad at it!  But I think that this quality makes me a real person, and I thank Him for it.

I forgive this person (and others) for doing what they did that caused so much harm to my psyche to this very day.  PTSD is a hard thing to work through, and it bears on one’s soul, and pops it head out at the most unexpected times.  I actually feel sorry for her that she does not have the courage or integrity to tell the truth.  Yet I do know that the immediate release and peace I felt when I cut her out of my life is something that I continue to want in my life.  And there is no reason that I need to continue in a relationship that is bad for my well-being.

So I say good-bye!

 

 

© Can Stock Photo / AntonioGuillem