Being deceived or taken advantage of by a friend that is trusted and loved is hard to forget or forgive, especially when that event caused life-long trauma. And to make matters worse, when that friend refuses to admit to the deception and just overlooks the occasion altogether, the hurt is magnified. The best revenge is that there can be happiness and joy along with peace despite the hurt.
First of all, I have decided that if she cannot admit to her faults and essentially has lied to me for years, I do not need that type of influence or standard of behavior/principles in my life. It’s time for me to surround myself with people who value me and my feelings. I no longer need fake ideals and people in my life. Life becomes much less dramatic and peace evolves when the chaos is quieted.
I have always been told and read that we should treat people the way we want to be treated. Having compassion and empathy is one of the major components involved in this statement. Without compassion and caring for another person and seeing their hurt, I would find it hard to live honestly and at face value. I don’t want kind words and flattery. That does not impress me or make me like you anymore, or cover the hurt of devastating actions. It is honesty and compassion that impresses me.
I know that God works in ways that are beyond what I will ever understand. I have faith that whatever unfolds in life is part of God’s plan – whether it is good or bad. It is how we respond to our circumstances and how we treat people that matters. I praise God for His plan and pray that He continues to help me to walk in such a way that pleases Him. I want His Holy Spirit and His words to guide me. And I pray that I am never fake or try to impress people. He has given me the quality of honesty. This is not to say that I have never told a lie. But believe me, I have the hardest time lying and I am VERY bad at it! But I think that this quality makes me a real person, and I thank Him for it.
I forgive this person (and others) for doing what they did that caused so much harm to my psyche to this very day. PTSD is a hard thing to work through, and it bears on one’s soul, and pops it head out at the most unexpected times. I actually feel sorry for her that she does not have the courage or integrity to tell the truth. Yet I do know that the immediate release and peace I felt when I cut her out of my life is something that I continue to want in my life. And there is no reason that I need to continue in a relationship that is bad for my well-being.
So I say good-bye!
© Can Stock Photo / AntonioGuillem