I can do all things that my heart desires. I am capable of living a life filled with happiness, even though I have a mental illness. Depression, PTSD, Anxiety, and Bipolar are not going to be dictators of who I am, or how I live as a person. My capabilities and how I am going to live and go forward in life is all in how I determine to see and experience life in my Journey.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t ever experience hurt, anxiety, fear, anger, or any of those other detrimental aspects of a personality that can bring me down. It does however mean that with each day I’m trying different ways of coping and moving forward. I’ve learned to be fearless in areas of my life that would have made me crumble in the past. And I’m learning to be stronger which has helped me to grow and be able to tolerate day-to-day discomfort. But I must admit that there are those times when my husband comes home from work, and I just want to cuddle with him in bed, feel safe, and rest for more relief.
I have learned not to react immediately, and try to sit with my anxiety. This is building up my ability to deal with disturbing feelings, and chronic tension. Distress tolerance skills are becoming my friend. Believe it or not, if I just sit with my discomfort and wait, perhaps use distraction and go about my day, the feelings of panic will dissipate. And , as if magically, the tension disappears. And this took me how many years to understand?
I continue to grow and learn daily, and this will continue. Life is too short to waste time being inpatient, unhappy, disturbed, and basically full of ill feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, or tension. Therefore, learning and growing are a daily pursuit for me. The daily pursuit of loving life and enjoying each moment, or at least coping and gaining more strength and skill so that the next moment, or day, or week can be that much better. I’m in it for the long run, with hope in my heart, and a smile on my face.