Living each day with a sense of what can I do to stay happy, or to be at peace, or perhaps to turn this awful dread around today, is a terrible chore to live with on a daily basis. Living in a feeling of illness and looking for peace or “normalcy” requires an astounding amount of effort, and is exhausting. The havoc of writing to get out the pain, to focus my mind, for guidance, or maybe for talking with God and asking for guidance is like living in a tornado with the massive spinning and wreckage abounding. There is never peace, just a sense of needing to acquire a homeostasis just to stay afloat. How exhausting!
When my focus was readjusted and I was given the gift of seeing myself as living in a healthy state, while trying to keep out of the dips into illness I turned my thinking around. I began staying on top of the water, floating on the waves of the water with ease, while looking at the sky and focusing on the beauty around me. It is so much easier to maintain health, than it is to claw my way out of illness.
I am a capable, smart, persistent human being. I have made it through some dark times and have gained more strength each time. I live with mental illness – bipolar, anxiety, and PTSD. That does not mean that in anyway I am ill. I am living in a state of health and maintaining my peace, happiness, physical and mental health, while going about each day in gratitude. I am eliminating any dips into illness by being healthy and doing all that I can to stay happy and focused.
I try to exercise regularly which is good for my physical and mental health. I eat a balanced diet and refuse to ever diet for weight loss again. The balance and maintenance of a healthy body for me is eating healthy and exercising, not acquiring the PERFECT weight, and then gaining it back. My body is going to be where it should be. Exercising for my mental health is important also because the physical activity is great to reduce stress and anxiety. It gives me a sense of purpose while doing what is good for my body and mind. My focus is being more healthy.
I read a lot and try to stay positive. Learning healthy coping skills and doing them, staying around healthy and positive people who have mutual love and respect, keeping my environment organized and clean helps with my mind as well, and trying to stay in the present and enjoy each moment is the key. I also write so that I continue to grow in my daily walk, and gain a better understanding of who I am – while also trying to help others in their journey. This all brings me peace and purpose.
Learning that I am not a perfect person, and to let go of the flawless ideals of perfectionism has been helpful to help me be more peaceful. My granddaughter and I talk about how nobody is perfect (except God), and I’m working daily to do my best, but not to be perfect. I’ll never be able to live up to that expectation. Also living with spirituality in my life is helpful and needed for me. That doesn’t mean I am rigid in my thinking. The days of being the ultimate “perfect” Christian are gone for me too. It’s time to enjoy life, and to do my best. I have good morals, integrity, faith, and character traits. I trust myself, and am gaining more trust in my intuition. Moving forward with these attributes that are ingrained in me is a beautiful place to be and a good platform to be successful.
So just because there are people living day-to-day WITH an illness doesn’t mean they are living IN a state of illness. Whether it be a mental illness, fibromyalgia, lupus, high blood pressure, diabetes, a recovering alcoholic, etc., etc… The list is endless – we are all capable of living in health. Maintaining health and preventing that illness from sneaking to the surface is the goal. The tools are available. Be bold, be brave, be brilliant. Enjoy the journey.