It was exactly one year after the death of my mother. I decided to start writing a blog that the public could see. It was primarily (in the beginning) to be used as a tool – a sort of therapy. I was going to write about hardships in my past that perhaps others could relate to, and that these trials could possibly help or inspire others.
The fear of keeping things hidden from everyone was slightly still there, especially with the domestic violence and emotional abuse, but I would persevere. My husband helped to give me the courage to be bold and put my words out in the open. What did I have to lose?
Things that are the hardest to do, give the highest reward. And that, I believe wholeheartedly. So yes, I was fearful to write about my trials, but the ultimate reward was that within a years time I developed a beautiful sense of peace, the ability to rationalize, and see the bigger picture. I have learned a great deal about how to deal with the past, and to move forward.
The past has taught me how to be strong, and now it is to be kept back there. A mindfulness and living in the present is the goal. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have future goals – because I do. But I’m enjoying each day for what it is, and each day I’m continuing to learn and grow. I’m learning to see the silver lining in everything, and to look out for what is best for me and for those that I love.
Writing as a source of therapy has proven to me to be one the best actions that I have taken in my life. I have kept journals for many years which have helped to keep me sane. But to grow in my journey and to learn coping skills, I have had to put my words out to the public, and ultimately I have to be responsible for all that I have to say. I have matured and I have learned to stand on my two feet. What a beautiful blessing.