My emotions respond to the stimuli – heightened alertness, heart pounding, a sense of urgency. The details surrounding me are skewed and blurred together. Nothing else matters but the grips of fear.
The flashbacks can be intrusive and come to me one right after another. How do they relate to the here and now? For this to be in my face twenty-five years later (after the demons began) is powerful.
Peace is the goal – not reliving the pain. It is a possibility. I can reach that level of solitude. Just keep walking down the straight path.
Or do I take a step forward in a new direction? Relive the pain, and possibly face the fear time and time again. Do I have the ability to smash the fear into pieces, or have enough compassion and love for myself to break free? Why tackle that challenging road again?