For many years now, I have prayed for daily minute to minute hopes and wishes. I have prayed selfishly asking for all of my desires to come true, and I have realized that there have been a lot of no answers and waits along the way. Just because I’m praying that the day goes well and my dreams are attained it doesn’t mean that these prayers or longings will be answered. But it is when I pray with true depth and desire for God’s answers that I feel the blessings around me (even in the storms). And to see the amazing grace of God at work is awe-inspiring.
I have felt the presence of divine intervention, and have been led by the Holy Spirit. And to see the paths clear and to run with those answers and guidance from above is living with the ability to put my faith in something much bigger and stronger than imaginable. Thank you Lord for the ability to talk to you even when I’m self-seeking, and to realize that the true understanding of your presence is with the deep cries that are yearned for and the answers that are boldly seen by believers. These are miracles indeed.
I have come to the realization also that all of God’s wait and no answers with my daily prayers, even though they are misunderstood and heart-wrenching at the time, will eventually be understood and will be achieved in what is His ultimate divine plan. And seeing some of those answers many years later is magnificent.
I am not claiming to be someone who understands all that God has available to us – far from it. What I am saying is that I do have faith and hope in God. I have seen the grace of His power. And even though I could learn much more, I still believe.
That belief at one time wavered when I had a emotionally painful psychotic experience in which I believed that the plan of life could be seen and followed. This breakdown was inevitable under the trying circumstances. It took me many years to rebuild that trust, even though as I see it now, God was the one who sustained me. I was scared and fearful for a long time, but God was patient. The reasons for the trials were not always understood, but when looking back I see His calm love in the chaos.
God is truly amazing!